Don't use w/out permit
What do you expect?She won't talk to youWhat do you expect? by AkaiChounokoe
She has reason not to
She's regressed into silence
You've abused her
Put her down
Pushed her aside
She's not acting above
She's isn't dominating
She's acting submissive, docile
She would fight back
Telling how you're being wrong
Sharing her view
Now, she's shattered
Broken, beyond shaky repair
She takes your abuse
Like her inner child
A child she once was
A child you belittled
A child who's taken more punishment than
She was protected
She had grown used to it
Picking herself up
Hoping that you'd stop
And mend your ways
She's silent because of you
She takes your abuse
Because rejection would be worse
You berate her
Tear her down
Make her feel as small as you say she is
You tell her to leave your life and never return
You even said she was full of shit
She believes him
She won't speak to you
Her reasons are fair
You've broken her
She's afraid, hurt, shattered
You say she shouldn't be
What do you expect?
She was neve
Fragile BondIt was a bondFragile Bond by AkaiChounokoe
A bond hanging by
A fragile thread
She clung to it
Yet, it seemed to want to break
It was fragile
Her bond had a name
Surely, regardless it wasn't a good one
It was "Insecure Attachment"
She was attached, yet
Her bond with them was insecure
She was close in some way
Yet, she was distant
Distant like her faded memories
Like her feelings
She alternated between
The realms of affection and tolerance
She loved, yes
But it felt distant
She wasn't sure why
Perhaps, to a degree
They felt the same towards her
She didn't know if that were the case or not
However, she knew they tolerated
She was avoidant
Emotional closeness wasn't something she had possessed nor
Was it something she had lost
She often shouldered her emotional burdens alone
Regressing into a long and painful silence
She was ambivalent
Struggling between accepting and blaming
Being consistent and inconsistent
Welcoming them, yet pulling away, lashing out
Trusting, yet entrusting
She was disorganized
Her needs for clos
CutsShe eyed her bit of workCuts by AkaiChounokoe
In some view, hers, it was "art"
Those red slashes
She'd watch them pool
And she'd watch them
Rose petals trickled to the floor below
She barely caught a few of them
Before letting them fall
From her palm
She wanted to feel
And, yet, with internal rage,
She wanted to punish
Her rage needed an escape
She would call this "art"
"Art" needed pain and it needed sacrifice
It was "art" by those means
And they ran
Leaving rose petals on the floor below
Did she feel her "art"?
She couldn't say
Perhaps, she had, yet
She just wanted to feel and punish
If she felt the pain
She said nothing or little
Just feeling it with grace
She counted them
How many new and
How many old
This wasn't the first time
She had the marks to prove it
She held her arms in that position
Watching the red run and pool
Seeing the rose petals fall to the floor
She would wait
Wait for the pooling and running to stop
It won't be long
She'd clean them
And then eye the handiwork
Decaying GirlDecaying girl, who are you?Decaying Girl by AkaiChounokoe
Have you a name?
Have you a purpose?
Are you in pain?
Your bones are showing
Blood trickles down your face
You’re minus both a hand and foot
How did you come to be, Decaying girl?
Your grave will not hold you
You seem aware, yet
You marvel at your severed hand
Faintly, you remember how pretty you once were
You remember your life before
Before you started to decay
You rot and you bleed
You barely notice
Decaying girl. who are you?
MiscarriageI sat there,
Curled up into a ball,
Crying, snobbing, tearing.
It was gone,
Gone, vanished, it had died.
I cried harder,
Placing my hands on my empty stomach.
My only son came in.
He was two, so small, so young.
Ice blue eyes, his fathers face,
Tiny hands touched my arm.
Mummy not cry, me find Bo.
He said holding his light grey toy dog.
I picked him up and hugged him.
Hugged him for his innocence,
Hugged him for his concern,
Hugged him because I loved him.
But the tears did not stop.
Mummy? James questioned me again.
He held Bo out to me. See here is Bo. He said smiling,
But he frowned at my tears.
I gave him a small smile.
Good job James.
I cuddled him, placing him on my stomach, my empty stomach.
I would not let him go even when he asked me too.
I hang on to him desperately and cried.
I did not hear the door open.
I did not hear him come inside.
I held James loosely.
He escaped out of my arms and went
The Wicked StepsistersOnce upon a time, Anastasia Tremaine started crying as soon as she sat up in bed. Not even sleeping in until dusk worked to avoid her miserable life. In her dreams, Anastasia could almost feel the warmth radiating from a pair of arms wrapped around her, a sensation that assured of her how cherished and loved she was... But eventually she had to wake up, and then the loneliness caught up to her.
Anastasia picked up the razor blade she kept in a snuff box on her bedside table. She drew up the sleeve of her pyjama top and stared at the crisscrossing red lines that littered her forearm, the hand that held the blade hovering above them. No, she didn’t need that. She needed human contact, that was all. Anastasia returned the blade to its place and wiped away the tears on her cheeks.
At last she left her room, without changing her clothes or fixing her ginger bed-head. She hurried down the long corridor, for the imposing
I am an old soul,
And yet I am still young.
My bones do not creak,
Nor does my skin wrinkle.
I am an old soul,
Though I am still young.
I feel as if I have seen the world before,
Long before my birth.
I am an old soul,
Despite being still young.
These songs are familiar,
Before my time.
I am an
Dear MalloryDear Mallory,
Hey, long time no see. I can get away with saying that because you aren’t here to hit me in reply, and being apart for three years counts as a ‘long time’. I hope the house remodel went well, and that your father didn’t strain himself. You and your mom always bug him about pushing himself too hard, especially given his heart, but you two know he means well by it. It’s an old house though, so I hope you three didn’t change too much.
How are classes? We were freshman when I moved, so I guess you’re about to finish up your last semester as a senior. You certainly look old, haha… Don’t worry, I felt that one from here. You’re a model student, so I’m sure you’ll get into whatever school you want. Are you still considering a career in journalism? I hope you can find a spotter for yourself. To be honest, I always believed that it was a silly job, I mean, what reporter has a spotter working with them? When we
Thirsty HeartOh, this emptiness is so consuming.
I crave something that I can't even name.
Something that I've never known before.
There's something missing in my
thirsty heart and wandering eyes.
I am a shadow in the moonlight,
a drop in the ocean,
a whisper on the wind,
a lie on those honest lips.
I want nothing and everything,
feather-light kisses and gold coins made of wishes.
Tangled minds and balanced soul and kind, but strong heart.
That starving thing still waits,
it waits as it beats and with each heartbeat it's getting colder.
Like A PhoenixUnder this pale, flaming sun
I'm sitting all alone, in a local lounge bar
with a cold drink, contemplating my life.
Still thinking about the past useless stuff..like you.
You cut me deep, you cut me down,
tried to burn me alive, but still I rise.
Like a phoenix from the ashes
I am being reborn again, not in body, but in heart.
And after all this time,
you're nothing but a blurry memory
and a fading ache that once almost killed my heart.
The old godsThe old
spoke to men
in falling rain
on dry leaves.
When dark trees
alive in the storm.
When cloud filled
eyes glowed with
in the night sky.
When warm air
into the void.
When we listened
|I don't have various things to say, except I love animals, especially butterflies and foxes. I was scared of spiders but over came my fear . I want to travel the world and explore new things. I'd love to write stories and read, also draw but I mostly do that for fun. I'm an Aspie, which is someone with Aspergers. I'm also a loner with odd interests. I can be hissy and perhaps spiteful if angered, depending on how you made me angry however. I also don't like it when someone messes with my friends, SO DON'T DO THAT! THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! I don't like being angry. Usually, I'm sweet and nice and a little shy but extremely freindly. I'm also a free spirit, AND NOTHING CAN TAKE AWAY MY FREE WILL|